All We Want is To Be Perfect
by anastasia22
Summary: Hermione and Ginny both have an eating disorder. Hermione began earlier then Ginny and is now helping her along. But will the two be able to help each other as well as Harry...This story deals with eating disorders, sexuality, and other subject matter tha
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note**: This story is a fictional story that I have made up. I am not J.K Rowling and I have not created these characters. Everything that happens in this story is fictional, and is not based on the real Harry Potter books and characters.

Chapter 1

I walked down the hall, tiptoeing. Just to be sure Ron and Harry weren't following me. I couldn't have them find out what I was doing to myself and to them. I glanced back over my shoulder, no sign of them. I quickly stepped into the closest washroom and into an unlocked stall. I locked it, looked down at the toilet bowl and started my daily ritual. I stood still for a minute listening to some first year girls talking about the latest fad. They soon left and I kneeled down with one knee, on the cold floor. I stuck my fingers down my throat, and waited for it to happen. It happened faster, then it had the day before, The contents of the meal I ate an hour ago came spilling out of me and into the bowl. I wiped my cheek with the palm of my hand, smiled weakly to myself and stood up. I opened the door of the stall, walked over to the sink, washed my hands and looked into the big mirror on the side wall.

I stopped smiling almost instantly. I could see the fat on my arms and thighs. And my face looked like it needed some work still. My face was a pale white, paler then it had ever been. I opened my purse, and took out some pink blush. I needed to hide my pale face. I put as much blush as I thought would look normal, and then placed that back with in the contents of my purse. I took out some red lipstick and dabbed that on my lips as well. I looked back in the mirror and with horror, realized that my curly hair was starting to become thin. I touched it once, lightly, and some hair fell out right away. Well, that wouldn't do. I stood there staring at my hair and reflection for a while until I heard the bathroom door open.

In came Ginny Weasly. I smiled at her, and quickly gathered all my stuff together. To my suprise I heard her mumbling away in a stall, saying "calories so high" and "should never of allowed Ron to give me that." I then heard the noises that I had made not ten minutes earlier. I stood there in front of the door, waiting for her to come out. The minute she did, her bright smile faded, and she shrank back into the stall.

"Ginny? I won't tell anyone. You were doing that on purpose though, weren't you?" I asked walking forward a bit to sit on a stool that had been placed in the middle of the room.

"Hermione...You don't understand anything. Please leave me alone." Ginny replied from the stall.

"You throw up, so that you won't gain weight. Your only in the beginning process, but soon you could be avoiding everybody, and spending all your free time avoiding food." I replied.

Ginny came out of the stall, and walked over to where I was sitting. "How'd you know?" she asked silently.

"I have been doing the same thing for the past 3 years. It's hard at first. And it's still hard when you've been doing it for so long." I paused looking at Ginny. "I used to find it so hard to do anything right. My worth is based upon my weight. Noone understands me, nor wants to. Everyone thinks that I am 'so smart' because that's the way I was born. The fact is I use that time to make stories about what has happened to me, and I spend my days working out meal plans."

"I...never knew...I thought it was only me. I didn't want to mention it. Afraid Ron would hurt me because of it. I've been doing this for 3 months, although I had experimented with it for a while before. Maybe you could help me?" Ginny asked hopefully, her eyes brightening at the very thought.

"Sure Ginny. I would love to. Why don't we go up to the common room and talk about this there," I said grabbing my stuff and standing up.

Ginny followed me out of the bathroom and through the hall. I avoided all the glances that were headed my way. It seemed strange to me as to why everybody was staring at me. Hermione Granger. The girl who can answer any question a teacher asks, but is fat and ugly. Then all of a sudden I stopped. Ginny, who was behind me, looked at me and I whispered "Is there something on my face?" Ginny took a while to reply, but then she said,"Nothing is on your face. I think their staring because your face is so pale."

I gasped and started rushing to the dormitory. I did not know what had gone wrong. Usually the blush and lipstick work fine and noone suspects a thing. I rushed into the common room knocking into a first year. I rushed up the stairs, looked at my bed, and grabbed a mirror that I had on my bedtable. My hair was messy, which I had expected. But compared to my face, my hair was very bright. My face was paler then it had been a couple minutes ago. It was as white as snow. And the blush that I had placed on my cheeks had disappeared. I dropped the mirror, heard it crash to the floor and break into tiny pieces all around me, and I began to feel the first tear role down my cheek.

Ginny came in. She pushed her way through the crowd that was now standing in front of me, took my hand and took me to the bathroom. She shut the door, and sat cross-legged on the floor. I paused for a second to look up at her, but she barely smiled, in fact she looked terrified. I turned away from her, pulled at my top and sat down. Ginny looked up at me expectantly and I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to take a shower and go to bed.

"Hermione? What's wrong?" Ginny asked, pulling me away from my thoughts.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about getting a shower. " I replied standing up to retrieve my shower things. I picked up Ginny's to. "Ginny. If you really want to be dedicated to this, stay here with me. If you don't you can leave."

Ginny paused. "I am dedicated to losing weight. But...uh...um.." She started to mumble.

"What?" I asked patiently.

"I don't...uh...want a girlfriend. I...uh...want a boyfriend. I mean it's ok if your like that, I'm just not." she replied.

I couldn't help but laugh abit. "Ginny...I would hope not. I want a boyfriend to. But I have been thinking lately, especially if there was a person with an eating disorder who went to this school, we should have all our showers together and also change together. That way we would be able to point out what weight we need to lose. If that's ok?" I replied.

"Sounds like a good idea to me. Alright." Ginny replied.

I pulled my top over my chest, and unbuttoned my pants. I looked over to see Ginny taking off her pants as well. She looked up, just for a moment and I saw her smile slightley. I turned round and took off my bra. I heard Ginny gasp, and turned round to see what the problem was.

"...Fred...He must have put something in my bag." Ginny said taking out a small microscope. "They use this to video tape people."

"Oh no...Well I suppose I can fix that." I said a spell that I had learned yesterday in class, and the microscope disappeared. "Now, almost ready?"

Ginny nodded pulling at her top. I turned on the tap water, and got in. I backed up to the very back of the bath, and allowed Ginny to enter. She looked small compared to me, of course the age had something to do with it, but I still felt fat. I took some soap from above and start washing her back. Ginny turned round smiled, and whispered "Maybe we could try it?"

I looked at her unsure of what she meant. She came up closer to me, and to my excitment and fear I knew she was going to kiss me. I leaned in closer and soon the two of us were making out heavily. Her arm made circles on my back, and soon she was kissing other parts of me as well. I started her ear, and she whispered "Let's keep going." I did not reply instead, I turned off the shower, placed a towel on the floor for us to lie on, and soon we were making love. We made love for an hour, and as soon as it was over, Ginny lay beside me, smiling and whispering away about how much she loved me and what we had just done. I smiled, and lay there with her.

We ended up falling asleep together in each others arms. I awoke in the morning, this way. Except Ginny was sitting on the ground her head bent over, dressed in new clothes. Her hair fell over her knee and it looked as though she was reading something. I sat up, grabbed a pair of pants and a top and started to stand up. I fell back once, dizzy, but I tried again and using the sink counter I was able to get up. Ginny looked up then, and I could see she was writing in what looked like a diary. I sank down beside her, as she started to stretch.

"Gloria, one of the first years, almost came in on us last night," Ginny spoke softley.

"Really? What time?" I asked pushing my hair out of my eyes and looking in the mirror. My face was still pale and my eyes were a very light color. I took out my blush and lipstick and started applying it to my face, as Ginny spoke.

"Don't know. I'd say 12 at night. She was screaming for us to open it and everything. Told her to go away. You slept right through it. "Ginny told me. She looked worried.

"Gosh...I must have been tired." I replied looking away. I knew she was thinking it was because I hadn't eaten in a while. In fact the last meal I had had was breakfast on Monday. It was now Wednesday. I hadn't eaten for almost two days.

"We better get down to breakfast. "Ginny said, grabbing my hand and kissing me quickly.

I got up and followed her out of the room. The dormitory was quiet. Noone was there. I looked at my bed and realized that the broken mirror was still there. I walked over, and sat down beside it, tears forming in my eyes, for no reason. Ginny stopped walking towards the stairs and looked towards me. It looked as though she was going to say something but instead she stood there waiting patiently for me to follow.

I stood up again, and went to where Ginny was standing. She looked at me once and then headed out the door. I looked over at my bed once more feeling a pain leaving it, and that was the last thing I remember doing...


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note**: This story is a fictional story that I have made up. I am not J.K Rowling and I have not created these characters. Everything that happens in this story is fictional, and is not based on the real Harry Potter books and characters.

Chapter 2

I woke up in a bed in a room I did not recognize. A piece of paper was in my hand. I unfolded and read the scrawled writing.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I did not tell them about your thing. I couldn't do it. I know that you promised you would never tell on me about my thing, so I won't tell on yours. May I come and visit you later? In private? I have something special to show you. Ron and Harry were there this morning. They looked worried and upset. I have never seen Ron look like that. They would have stayed all day if the nurse hadn't made us go to classes. Anyways I'll see you later on this evening. _

_Forever Friends. Ginny Weasly_

I sat there, stunned for a moment reaching back into my memory as to what had happened. I looked around the place and realized that it was the hospital wing. I gasped, and a second later, a women, who I guessed was a nurse entered. She looked around until she saw me sitting there, and then came forward to my bed. I shrank back into the bed, wondering what the last thing I had eaten was. I did not want to gain any weight. Ending up in the hospital was obviously a sign of weakness.

"Hermione. I am Nurse Stevenson. I'm here on Professor Dumbledors request." the lady said sweetly.

I looked at her for a moment. Her sharp blues eyes stared at me like ice. Her lips, which had red lipstick applied were so thin. "Professor Dumbledor? He wanted you here? For what?" I asked in very faint voice.

She looked at me once, and then walked away. I wondered where she had gone. She came back a second later with a mirror. She placed it in my hand and I looked in it. My face, if it was possible, was even paler then before, my eyes had red spots in them, and my lips which had been a nice shade of pink, were now almost purple. I noticed however that my cheeks had become fuller. I was gaining weight, I racked my brain, trying to find out what I had eaten the day before. I couldn't think of anything. Maybe Ginny will know I thought sitting up more.

"Professor Dumbledor is worried about you. He has seen your downfall to this muggle disease. He can not stand to think what may happen to you if you lose any more weight. He told me that he recalls you not being at meals a lot lately and not hanging out with Ron and Harry." Nurse Stevenson said, replying to my question.

"He has nothing to worry about...A muggle disease? No, I don't have any disease. I've just been busy with homework and everything. Ginny brings me my meals. Ask her if you want. And Ron and Harry have Quidditch practise all the time. I can't be with them when they are practising all the time, and besides I have all my homework for other classes that they don't have as well." I replied fingering the dress they had put on me.

"Hermione...I think you are in denial. You have all the symptoms of a disease known as bulimia, and also of anorexia. Have you been feeling ill?" she asked.

I paused for a second. I couldn't say I felt fine, how would I have ended up here if I wasn't fine. And I definatley didn't have these diseases that the nurse was talking about. No, I would have to think of something else."Well to tell you the truth," I started. "I have been feeling poorly for the past couple weeks. I thought it might be a cold, but I think it may be the flu."

She looked at me for a minute, and then the door to the hospital opened and in came Ginny. She was followed by Ron and Harry. They smiled and waved. Nurse Stevenson stood up from her chair. "I'll come back later," she said leaving.

"Hermione. How are you?" Ron asked. He had some chocolate frogs in his hand which he placed on the bedside table. "These are for you."

"Oh...Thank you Ron. How nice. I'm pretty good, They think it might be the flu. I should be out of here in no time." I replied. The chocolate sat there, staring at me. I didn't know what I was going to do about it because obviously if I ate it, I would be fat. But I didn't want to hurt Ron's feelings.

Ginny looked at me, but did not say anything. I looked at Harry. His hair was messier then usual and he looked as though he hadn't slept all night. "Harry? Are you all right?"I asked.

"Um...Sure Hermione. Nothing for you to worry about. Well I just came to see how you were doing. I got to go." he said standing up at me, and walking back out the door. Ron waived and followed after his friend.

Ginny and I were alone. I could say what I wanted, do what I wanted. Anything. I pulled the dress sleeve up, and looked at my arm. I noticed that there was a place that a needle must have been placed earlier. I looked at my other arm, there was no dot there. "Did they put a needle in me?" I asked Ginny pointing at the spot.

"Yes. As soon as you came in they hooked you up to this thing...Said it was a muggle invention...and then this liquid came through it and into you. My mom came by as soon as she heard, and when I asked her what it was she said it was...an IV..don't have a clue what that means...But she said it was to give you liquids because you were dehydrated." she said quickly.

"Ginny...Calm down. Everything will be ok. But may I ask what happened? How did I end up here?" I asked.

"You fainted...Well actually you fell down the stairs. We were headed for the dining hall, and you just fell. I didn't know what to do, so I went to the nurse who brought you here. She started mumbling away about ana rexia and bull imia...I have no clue what she was talking about. And then she made me leave the room for awhile. And when I came back you were fast asleep." she replied. Her eyes had tears in them, and I could tell that she was very upset by what had happened.

"She was talking about anorexia and bulimia...Their muggle diseases. She thinks I have them. She told me before that they were very dangerous, but I told her I can't possibly have such a disease..Although she didn't really explain it all that clear. And Ginny, you did the right thing. You were scared, and it's good that I'm here...I'll be out by tomorrow and then if your still comitted to losing weight I can help you." I whispered. I started to brush my hair, and when the clumps of hair started falling out, I wasn't even surprised.

"Of course I am still dedicated Hermione. I haven't eaten anything yet today. My stomachs been rumbling all morning, but I couldn't eat, not if that is what keeps making me fatter." she replied.

I looked at her sitting there. And was happy to see that she was smiling. The nurse came in at that moment, and made a noise, that sounded like a cat. I looked at the nurse, she was standing there watching us. Ginny looked up to, and her eyes became narrow slits. It looked to me as though she did not like this girl.

"Visting time is up!" Nurse Stevenson said, walking over to my bed.

"Bye Ginny. I'll be out in no time." I said turning to face the wall. I did not want to talk to this nurse again.

Nurse Stevenson came over to me, told me I needed to get some rest, stuck a needle in my arm, and the next moment I was fast asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note**: This story is a fictional story that I have made up. I am not J.K Rowling and I have not created these characters. Everything that happens in this story is fictional, and is not based on the real Harry Potter books and characters.

Chapter 3

I walked through the halls the next day to alot of stares from other students who were in my classes. They asked why I had missed class the day before, and if I was feeling better. I told them that the nurse thought I had the flu and that I was feeling fine now. But in my mind, I was sick of them asking how I was. I wanted them to compliment me on losing all the weight. I guess it wasn't enough.

I passed classroom after classroom until I got to my Potions class. The teacher stood in the centre of the floor talking about furry worrys and other sorts of potions you could create to ward off evil. I was a couple minutes late, but that didn't matter. I needed to figure out how today was going to go.

I had eaten supper last night, late at night. Only because the nurse sat there watching me eat. I also ate at breakfast this morning, because of what the nurse said about Dumbledor watching me. I did notice him watching our table alot more then usual, so I had eaten breakfast. I could not eat lunch, if I did I would have to visit the washroom again. Which, I thought to myself, I should have done this morning.

Harry passed me an ingredient for the potion and I got to work. I had to do good in this class no matter what. What would people think of me if I failed a class such as this I would be ruined. An hour later, class was over and everyone was headed towards the dining hall for lunch.

"Hermione, you coming?" Harry asked, coming up beside me.

"I'll be there in a sec..Just got to do something, for my next class." I replied heading in the direction of the Griffondor common room. I went in quickly, making sure noone saw me and to my surprise Ginny was sitting at the table working on something.

"Hey Ginny. What are you doing?" I asked placing my bag on the table and sitting down at the seat across from her.

"Oh. Well I went on the computer during class today, found this site. It was talking about anorexia and bulimia, two muggle eating disorders. I got to agree, with the nurse, that it may be what you have. But anyways one thing it said on one of the sites, was to avoid food you could make a book of thinspiration and everything. And so I thought I would do that." Ginny replied pointing at magazines and other cut-outs.

Hermione looked at the cut-outs. Most were of muggle celebrities, but she had to admit that they were people she may want to look up to, if she lived in the muggle world. "That's a good idea Ginny. You think I could make one to?"

Ginny handed over a book and some pens, and I started decorating a sheet of paper. Ginny was laughing, and I giggled along with her every so often. I looked at my watch and realized it was half an hour later. "Oh no...Ginny I was supposed to meet Ron and Harry at the dining hall half an hour ago!" I said grabbing my bag and running out the door.

"But...But you don't eat lunch...Why are you going?" she asked chasing after me. I didn't stop. I couldn't. I had to get there so that noone worried about me.

"Ginny think about it. Everyone is watching me, at all hours of the day. Professor Dumbledor is even keeping an eye out. I have to make things look normal. Otherwise I'll end up back in the hospital wing for longer." I said heading down a flight of stairs.

She chased after me, taking the steps two at a time. She tripped once and almost fell down the stairs but I was quick enough to say a spell preventing her from hurting herself. "You better eat something to. They'll start wondering about you to." I said. We were almost at the dining hall.

"But the website I went to talked about fasting...Eating no food for as long as you can." she said in a small voice. She looked upset, and tired.

"I know...Let things calm down here first. They'll start to wonder about you if you stop eating as well. Give it a few weeks and soon they will have found something else that excites them." I replied opening the doors to the dining hall.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:**This is a fictional story. I am not J.K Rowling and I do not own any of the characters that are in this story.

**Authors Note:** Thank you for the comments. Sorry this has taken so long, I've just been very busy. I am working on Chapter 5 now and you can expect that by the end of the week. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 4

The dining hall was packed with Hogwarts students. They were all chatting away to their friends about the daily events and everything else that was happening throughout the school. I guided Ginny to the Griffondor table, and sat down beside Harry. He paused from his talk with Ron, to look at me. I smiled back at him, grabbed an apple and started to munch away at that. Ginny did the same thing.

"Where were you, Hermione?" Harry asked a moment later.

"Ginny needed help with her homework for class. I was helping her." I replied. I couldn't help thinking that Harry was getting quite annoying, always asking if I was ok. He never bothered to do anything for me, and he never could tell me that I looked pretty.

"Oh...I see. What homework were you helping her with?" Harry asked.

"She was helping me with my essay for Snape. He always gives such hard essays to do, and I didn't have a clue what he was talking about in class today." Ginny spoke up, grabbing her water and drinking it in one gulp.

"Well...I actually need to talk to you guys about Snape. I saw him walking around the seventh floor, just walking back and forth. I think he's up to something...I'm thinking of going up there during my free time, to see what he's up to." Harry said.

"Oh Harry. Aren't you ever going to give this up? You've never trusted him. Can't you once just trust him enough not to follow him around?" I asked. I hated how Harry had this theory that Snape was always up to something. I couldn't explain it, but I felt that what he thought was wrong.

"I can't help it." Harry said defenseivly. "It's not my fault I can't trust him, and I don't think you should either."

I watched Harry for a moment, thinking over the past few days and the events that had happened. I couldn't think of what to say back to him. He had a point, Snape always seemed to have something for us Griffondors. It was like he was always trying to get us into trouble. I looked at my watch, quickly, and let out a small squeak.

"What's wrong?" Ron asked. His face was covered in ketchup.

"Oh...I forgot to do something for class. Rather strange isn't it? Well I better get going." I said standing up, and heading out the door.

I was just out the door when Ginny came running up beside me. I didn't talk, there was no need. Instead I kept on heading towards the washrooms. When I got in there, though, I saw at least five girls standing there whispering about something. When they heard us come, they stopped talking, and instead started to stare at us. I thought nothing of it, went into a stall, locked it and waited until the other girls left. It sounded as though Ginny was doing the same thing.

When they left I kneeled down on the cold floor and performed the ritual I had done for months again. I stuck my fingers down my throat and waited until I started to heave into the toilet bowl. When I pulled my hand out of my throat I noticed scars on my hand that I had not seen before. I was not worried however, this was a sign that I had to be punished for the amount of food I was eating. I flushed the contents of the bowl, stood up, and left the stall. I went to the mirror again as I always did to look at my reflection. I was not surprised when I saw the pale face staring back at me.

I started looking at all the fat that was still on my body. It was disgusting, the amount of fat a person could have on their body, no matter what they did. I could see my collar bone and my hipbones, both of which I was happy to see. My stomach still had some fat on it, and my thighs needed to loose a lot of fat. I looked around for a scale, but could not find one.

Ginny came out of the stall, pale, tears running down her cheeks. I didn't ask, I didn't want to be rude, or make her think that I did not respect her as much as she respected me. I knew she looked up to me because of what I did.

"I threw up blood." Ginny said quietly.

"That's a good sign Ginny. That means your getting all the food out of you." I replied.

She looked at me for a second and then opened her bag. Inside was a scale. "How'd you get that?" I asked amazed.

"I found it, under my bed. I thought I would keep it..."she replied.

Ginny placed it on the floor and stood upon it. It went back and forth for a couple seconds and then went to 122lbs. She gasped, and started to look at herself in the mirror. I decided to weigh myself then, worried that I had gone up since I last checked. The last time I had been 102lbs I did not want to be higher then that. I stepped on once, it went back and forth, and then stopped. I gasped at the number and quickly stepped off the scale. I would have to try again. It couldn't be right. Ginny stopped looking at the mirror and began to watch me as I stepped on the scale again. Again it said the same number, 89lbs. I was in the double digits. Finally. But what I didn't get was my goal was 95lbs and I had figured I would have no fat on me whatsoever. Obviously I was wrong, because I still had fat on me now. I smiled at Ginny weakly, but she looked worried.

"Hermione? You can't weigh that much," she whispered.

"Why not Ginny? I'm fat. Have you not looked at me, look at all this fat." I said pointing at my stomach.

"Hermione, I'm not saying that...I'm just saying they took your weight at the doctors and they want to check your weight again in a week. You weighed 97lbs when they weighed you last. They said if you lost more then 2lbs they were going to put you in the hospital." Ginny said.

I looked at her, and quickly looked back into the mirror. "How is that possible?" I asked her. She was silent. "Do they want me to get fat? Look at me," I said pointing at my stomach. I sank down on the bathroom floor, tears falling from my eyes freely.Ginny came and sat next to me. I sat there crying for a long time. A girl came into the bathroom once. I thought she was in my year, although I wasn't sure. She looked at me quickly and then turned away. I sat there with Ginny, whispering about how I felt, and how I needed to lose more weight.

"Hermione...It's not loosing weight you have to worry about. You have a doctors appoinment next Thursday. You have to weigh at least 95lbs." Ginny whispered sitting up a bit straighter.

"How, Ginny! How am I going to weigh that much in a week?" I nearly screamed.

Ginny looked hurt. Her eyes showed fear, but she continued on. "You know how I went to that site on the computer? Well there were some tips on how to gain weight or make it look like you have gained weight for doctor appointments."

"So see? It has to be possible to trick them. It can't be that hard. I don't have to really gain weight and as long as we figure out a way to make me weigh 95lbs everything will be fine." I said smiling a bit.

I stood up again, holding on to the sink for help. Ginny looked at me as I got up, but I said nothing to her. I didn't speak for a while again. Instead I looked back in the mirror pushing away my messy hair to look at my face. I wiped at it, taking all the make-up off, just so I could see what my face really looked like underneath it all. My jaw bone stuck out, and the bones in my cheek were well defined. My eyes were a dark blue, but around the pupil there was a tint of red, that looked like pink eye. I wasn't worried about that though, there was nothing I could do to cover that up anyways. What bothered me the most were my lips. They once were rosy pink, but now they could go to shades of blue and purple because I was so cold all the time. I had to keep buying darker lipstick just to cover up the blue and pink. My skin was also very pale, almost white, and at sometimes it was white. Although that didn't bother me that much, I actually liked it being that white, I had to cover it up because I knew that others would think I was sick. And I did not want them to think that at all.

"Hermione. I have to go. It's almost time for class," Ginny said waking me from my thoughts.

"I"ll come with you." I replied looking back at her. I turned around once to make sure I looked ok to be seen outside of the bathroom walls. I seemed fine, so I walked with Ginny. We walked through one hall, crowded with students and then through another. A friend of Ginny's ran up to us and started chatting away with Ginny. I told her I was going to head off to class, and left her alone there with her friend. I kept walking, and when I got to the class I saw that the teacher had not yet arrived. I smiled to myself, thinking it was luck that the teacher wasn't there yet, and then waved at my friend Ava.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I am not J.K Rowling. I have not created any of these characters. This is a fictional story and is in no way connected to any ideas that J.K Rowling may have made.

**Author's Note:** Thank you all for the reviews. I have just started working on Chapter 6. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 5

"Hermione, where were you at lunch?" Ava asked me, as she walked over to me through the crowd.

"I had some homework I had to do. How was lunch?" I asked. I knew that was what she wanted to hear.

"Well.."she began. "I sat with Harry and Ron. I thought maybe you would come. I know how you love to sit with them. Anyways, Harry seemed to be really upset about something. He wouldn't tell me what it was, but when I asked about you, he started talking really fast about everything that has happened with you in the past couple months."

"What did he say?" I asked. Ava was a good friend of mine, but I didn't trust her as much as I trusted Harry and Ron. Ava was nice and everything, but she was also very popular, and had her way of spreading rumors to other students.

"He said that you haven't been yourself. He said you never ate breakfast anymore, you started skipping lunch a while back, and now you hardly come to supper. He seemed very worried about you. Which I have to say, he should be. Hermione you are loosing too much weight," she said.

I looked away. Why does everyone say that I've lost too much weight? I thought. I'm fat. Can't they see that? I had no clue why everyone said that I had lost too much weight. Here I was thinking I weighed too much but everyone kept bringing me down, saying that I was too skinny. It must be that their all jealous, I said to myself. I couldn't stand it, even Ava was on my back all the time now.

"Harry has nothing to worry about." I replied. "And niether do you." She looked at me for a second and then the teacher was there and we all entered the classroom

I tried not to think about it again. Why should I? I mean, I had nothing to worry about, right? I wasn't doing anything wrong. I went through class thinking about everything that Ava had said and the way that Harry had acted around me for the past few weeks. I couldn't help but wish I could be the girl I once was when I came to Hogwarts that first year. But that would never be and no matter what I could not change it.

"Hermione Granger?" a boy asked. He looked to be a year seven and seemed agitated and angry that he had to go to different classrooms to get students.

"Y...Yes." I said, stuttering. I had never been asked out of the room before like this. I was always the good girl. The one who never had to have a talk with Professor Dumbledor.

I picked up my stuff and followed the boy through the halls of the school. He didn't say anything to me at all. When we arrived at the office he knocked on the door and left.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way J.K Rowling. I did not create Harry Potter, or any other characters associated with the book.

Chapter 6

I sat on the bed, looking at the mirror on the wall. And at the other girls beds. I was worried. I did not want to go out for supper. Did they not know what they were putting me through, doing this? But I decided that I would just have to be the perfect daughter they expected me to be. I stood up, and walked to my dresser. I was unsure of what to wear. Was it a special occasion? Or just an ordinary day? I threw top after top onto my bed, searching for the perfect outfit.

I found a pink spaghetti strap shirt, and my favorite jeans, I put them on. But as soon as I had put them on, they started to fall off my body. I went to my dresser, found a belt that I had not used in years, and tied it around my hips. The jeans were still lose but they no longer fell down, so that was ok. The problem was my shirt. It fell all the way down, just exposing my chest. I wanted to look suitable for the dinner. I rummaged through my dresser until I found a shirt I didn't recognize. I picked it up, and realized that it was the shirt I had bought 3 years ago with Ava. We had gone to a muggle mall during the summer, and I had fallen in love with it. It was a pink t-shirt, with sparkly pictures of monkeys, and it had ribbon coming out either side of the arms.

I was about to throw that into the pile as well. It hadn't fit me in three years. It wasn't going to fit me now either. But it seemed to make me wonder if there was a possiblity that it could. I decided I would try. I tried it on, and went to look in the mirror. It was a bit tight around my chest, but it was loose every where else. I decided that I would wear it because it did look fashionable.

I stood there, looking in the mirror. My face was as pale as ever. I grabbed my concealer and started smothering it onto my face. It made my face a bit darker, not much, but a bit. I put on my new blush. I had rushed out the day before to buy the latest thing. It was supposed to last longer. My cheeks became rosy, and fresh looking. I smiled. That's when I remembered my lips. I had only a little lipstick left. I hadn't been able to buy a new one, because the store was all out. I was waiting until tomorrow, to go out and buy more make-up. I opened the little amount of lipstick I had and placed it over my lips. It made them brighter, and I thought prettier. I smiled again and started placing my clothes back in the dresser.

I was just grabbing my earrings, a bracelet and a necklace when another girl I knew came in. She looked at me and then turned towards her bed. I thought she was going to leave soon, but she sat there watching me. I hated her staring at me.

"Is there a problem?" I asked her, placing the bracelet over my wrist. It was to big though, because it fell right off as soon as I let my arm slide down.

"Your mother and father are waiting in the common room. They said you had better hurry up," she said turning to reach a book of some sorts.

"Oh."I said slowly. "Thanks for letting me know." I walked out of the room and down the stairs into the common room. Into the expectant eyes of my mother and father.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I am not J.K Rowling. I did not create these characters, or the places in it. I do not profit from my writing this story.

Chapter 7

I stopped walking. My mother was staring at me. Her eyes showed that she had been crying. I looked to my father. To my surprise he had tears in his eyes as well. I struggled to walk forward. I could see other students staring at me and my parents. Harry came up beside me. He smiled sheepishly, I smiled back.

"Mother? May Harry come with us?" I asked. If he did it would mean less yelling at me.

"Oh...Hermione...You should...uh...go with your parents...alone. They..don't..uh..want...to..uh...have me come with them." Harry stumbled.

"Harry. We would love to have you come along." my father said. He waited a moment for anyone to say anything. Noone did and so me and Harry followed my parents out into the hall.

Harry walked along side me the entire time. He tried to make small talk with me and my parents, but I couldn't cooperate.

"So...What's the weather like, Mr. Granger?" Harry asked.

"Quite good. Fairly warmer than usual." my father replied.

"How has your school work been, Hermione?" my mother spoke. The first time the entire walk.

"Oh! I'm doing well. I could be doing better in Potions but I'm almost the top of my class in every thing." I said, smiling.

"Well, that's great hunny." my mother replied. She continued to stare ahead.

"Hermione. That's not true. Your top of the class in everything." Harry said quietly.

I looked at Harry for a moment. He turned away from me. I looked ahead, following the path with my eyes. How could he tell my parents a lie. I was doing horrible in Potions. Everyone knew it. Why did he think that he had to make up such a horrible lie?

"Oh. That's wonderful hunny." my father said smiling at me. We continued on down the road, stopping every few minutes to look at a statue of some sort.

I had seen all these statues before, many times. I started to drift out. I started to think about dinner and what I would eat. They expected me to eat. They thought there was something wrong with me. I had only eaten at Hogsmade once. Last year, celebrating Harry's birthday. But then, I hadn't cared about my weight, and had ate everything in site. Well I couldn't do that this year, now could I?

"...This statue is of Professor Dumbledor. He's rather fond of this statue. Isn't he Hermione?" Harry said, pulling me out of my thought.

"Huh...Oh. Yes rather fond. Yes." I said. My mother looked at me then. It looked as though she wanted to say something to me, but thought better of it and turned back to my father.

They started whispering to each other, and Harry joined me. He walked beside me, watching every movement that I made. It made me feel uncomfortable. All of sudden, Harry grabbed my arm. I looked up at him, and he whispered to me how he had loved me since the second he had seen me, and he wanted me to be his girlfriend.

"Harry...Can't this wait till later?" I whispered.

"No Hermione. I have left it too long to ask you. I do not want to waste any more time." he whispered back looking into my eyes.

I smiled up at him. That's when I realized my parents had stopped and were standing there watching me. Harry looked over at them, waved and then turned around.

"You mean...You asked them?" I asked, anger in my voice.

"I thought it was the best thing to do." he replied.

"It was very sweet. And very thoughtful." I replied.

I didn't know what to say. I would love to be Harry's girlfriend, but in the same way I didn't want to be because he would make me eat more, which would make me fat.

"What do you say, Hermione?" Harry asked.

"I would love to." I replied. I had made up my mind. I could still have some fun, I would just have to avoid places where we would have to eat.

Harry and I walked up to my parents, smiled, and headed on to the restaurant. We could see it in the distance. I smiled to myself, humming a song that I had heard in the summer, of some muggle superstar. Harry smiled at me, and my parents looked content with me.

**Author's Note:** Thank you for the wonderful reviews. I will have the next chapter done by tomorrow, if everything goes as planned. Hope you enjoy this chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I am not J.K Rowling. I did not create any of the characters within this story.

Chapter 8

I sat at the table in Hogsmade, laughing at a joke my father had made. We were getting along wonderful. Harry sat beside me, smiling. My mother sat across from me, talking about her new job, and the trouble that she had had on the first day. I smiled at her, making some small talk, asking questions about what she had to do in her job, and stuff like that. Everything was going great. If it had stayed like that, I would have enjoyed myself.

But the waitress came, handed us our menus and left us to come to our own decision. I opened up the menu, and looked through the contents. I decided I would look at the drinks first, because that would be the simplest thing to do.

_Soft Drinks_

_Pepsi $1.50 Diet Pepsi $1.50_

_Mountain Dew $1.50 Cherry Soda $1.50_

I chose the diet pepsi. One calorie per serving. I could work that off just by sitting here. I smiled as my mother chatted with my father about all the variety in foods. Harry was searching through his menu. He kept looking up every so often, and then he would duck his head back into the menu.

"What are you going to get, Hermione?" my mother asked.

"I'm not quite sure. There's so many good things here." I said sweetly. I kept looking at the menu. Everyone else was quiet. Waiting for me to pick something. I wanted to tell them to order ahead of me, but I knew that they would think that was strange. Usually I was able to pick something right away, with no wait.

"Why don't you get a hamburger?" my father asked. I looked up at him, smiled and replied. "Actually I was thinking of getting a cesar side salad, with the chicken fingers and fries."

"That sounds delicious." my mother said.

We ordered the meal. A couple minutes later, it arrived. I tried to act as if this was what I ate all the time. I munched away at my salad, making sure there was no dressing placed on it. Already I was going over the amount of calories I usually consumed within a day, there was no need of making unnecessary calories appear.

We chatted about school, and our life in the school. Harry chatted about his Quidditch practices and I talked about the latest Potions assignment. I was finally starting to feel comfortable being here with these three people, when the door burst open. In came Professor Dumbledor and Professor McGonagall.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:** Thank you everyone for the reviews. Sorry I have taken so long with this chapter. My computer has been messed up the past couple weeks and so I could not get on. Anyways this chapter is pretty short. The next chapter will be much longer. Hope you like this one.

**I am not J.K Rowling and I did not create these characters within this story. **

Chapter 9

"Harry! Hermione! We must get back to the school at once!" screamed Professor McGonagall.

"Now. Now. Calm down, my dear. You musn't make them scared." Professor Dumbledor whispered.

"What's wrong? What has happened?" Harry asked. The fear was evident in him. He had become very pale, and his hands were shaking.

"Oh, my dear boy. Nothing has happened yet. We are however concerned that a certain student has allowed a creature to enter the school. Nothing to worry yourself's about, I say. But to allow for the saftey to continue, all students must be in their dormitories." Professor Dumbledor spoke. He was calm, but Hermione thought she could see fear in his eyes as well.

"Albus...We must hurry. There seems to be a mist forming in front of the school. Oh dear...Hurry Albus!" Professor McGonagall screamed.

Everyone looked at her and then towards the school. What she had said was true. There were dark clouds forming outside of the school, but they looked like thunderstorm clouds.

Professor Dumbledor sat down at that moment and burst out laughing. Everyone turned around to stare at him. He looked up, and the moment he looked at Professor McGonagall he started to laugh harder.

"What is so funny, Albus?" she asked.

"Dear..Dear." Professor Dumbledor giggled. "Those are nothing more then storm clouds. The only danger these four are in, are the danger of getting soaked." he replied, laughing again.

"Well I never." Professor McGonagall said walking over to sit beside Professor Dumbledor.

We all laughed and then continued eating our meal. Professor Dumbledor talked away about his past travels, and how he had once met a person who knew all the languages in the world yet could not remember his own name.

My chicken fingers and fries were still on the plate they had arrived on, and I had only eaten half of the salad. I could feel everyone staring at me and when I looked up everyone had concern in their eyes.

"Is there a problem?" I asked.

"Hermione, you haven't eaten even half of your salad. You are becoming too thin. You need to eat." my mother said. She had tears in her eyes again, and my father looked like he was about to cry as well.

"Mother. You and everyone else has nothing to worry about. I am fine. My appetite has not been the same since I had the flu a while back. Everything is fine. I promise. "I replied eating some more of my salad.

"Then why won't you eat anything but the salad?" my father asked.

"I..." I started to say, but was interupted.

"Mrs. Granger, I believe that Hermione will only eat salad because of her problem. Now I know you said before that you did not want her put into treatment but if she does not start to eat properly that is the action that will have to be taken." Professor Dumbledor said.

"Treatment? What kind of treatment?" my mother asked.

"Well...This is a muggle disease and therefore she would have to go and see a muggle doctor for tests. We are unsure if the problem we discussed before is Hermione's problem but we believe she is showing signs of it. What would happen, as I understand, is she would have some tests taken, and if she falls into that category she would have to be hospitalized. She would go through a program, which would teach her to eat better, and as she completed each part of the treatment she would get more freedom. And then one day she would get to come back here to Hogwarts. But I have to warn you, it could take months for her to get better." he replied. "That is what I know of it. You would have to talk to the doctor to get more information."

"What are you talking about?" I screamed.

"Hermione, calm down." Harry said beside me.

"Harry this does not concern you. Mother what is Professore Dumbledor talking about?" I asked.

"Hermione. We think you have an eating disorder." Hermione's mother replied.


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note:** Sorry about not updating the story for so long. I have been busy with school work and all. There is going to be more chapters after this, it may just take a little longer for them to appear.

**Disclaimer**: I am not J.K Rowling and I did not create any of these characters.

Chapter 10

I sat in my seat stunned. Everyone was staring at me waiting for me to reply. But I couldn't. I couldn't reply to their demands. They had no clue what they are talking about. They talked in front of me like I wasn't there, about a problem that they thought I had.

"Hermione, we need to speak about this." my father said. I could see tears in his eyes already forming.

"We only want the best for you." my mother replied as well.

"There is nothing wrong with me. I am fine. I have never been better actually. I'm just getting over the flu. Nothing else. Now can we please go back to eating our meal?" I asked.

My mother stared at me and then to Professor Dumbledor. He smiled and shook his head. Everyone went back to eating their meals. But I couldn't. I played with the salad and eyed the chicken. It was still sitting there, but I knew I had to get rid of it somehow. Harry looked at me once, and then went straight back to looking at his plate.

"Well...I think it is time that Professor McGonagall and I left you all alone." Professor Dumbledor spoke placing a cup down on the table that he had ordered just moments before.

"Oh no. Please don't go. We'll be leaving soon anyways, why not stay and tell us about the upcoming school term?" Mrs. Granger asked.

"Very well." Professor Dumbledor replied.

We sat there for a while, quietly nibbling at our food. I stared at my plate and then at everyone around me. No one would look me right in the eye. They were avoiding me. I felt so uncomfortable, and yet so calm at the same time...


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** These are not my characters; and none of these events are to do with events occurring in J.K Rowling's novels.

I am sorry I have not updated this story in a long time; I lost the site, and could not update. I also lost the story as my computer crashed and I had to delete the entire story in the process. I have added this chapter; although I don't think it's quite final right now. It is a short chapter right now, but I'm still adding to this one, changing things as well, so if it doesn't make all that much sense, check back later and it should be a little easier to understand. I'm not abandoning this story; I just wanted to let you all know. There is still more to come, hopefully I can get this chapter finished in the next couple days, and then begin on the twelfth. I also want to begin other stories, so we'll see what happens. This story will be updated by the weekend though.

Chapter 11

Soon after the dinner, we headed back to Hogwarts. I was told I could stay until term ended in two weeks, but only if there was no need for me to be in the hospital wing at all. I worried about the end of the term coming, being taken away, and being forced to eat mountains of food. I headed up to my bed, sat down and began to open up the book Ginny had let me start to decorate almost three months ago to this very day. Ginny didn't come visit me anymore. She seemed scared of me, in fear that I would break. I saw her walking with friends a couple days ago, and although she did wave, she seemed distant. I opened up the book to the first page; which was supposed to be my writings and photos of muggles, but a page had been glued in it's place:

_Dear Hermione,_

_I just wanted to let you know that there is nothing wrong with you. You are a beautiful girl, who is loved by all, cared for, and watched over. Everyone here at Hogwarts would love to know youl would love to be your friend. This worrying over your weight, over being fat is useless. You are not fat, you don't need to lose weight. You are perfect the way you are. I know you probably don't believe this. But you are perfect, and that's why we love you Hermione, because of who you already are._

_Love your friends, Ginny, Harry and Ron_

"They would do something like this for me?" I whispered a tear falling from my eye. Never before had someone treated me like this; like they actually cared.

But then I began to think some more, and I started questioning their motive for writing this. They didn't really care for me at all, did they? They wanted me to believe it. But I wouldn't fall for it.

I sat on the bed some more, going over the days events. My mother and father thought I was sick, even the teachers thought I was sick. My friends thought I was sick. No one would listen to what I had to say. They just believed what they wanted, and wouldn't look the other way. How could I prove to them that I didn't have these so called "eating disorders" they spoke about? Why were they so worried about what I ate?

I decided to go down to the dining hall for the rest of dinner; when I got down there, the room was filled with constant chatter. I saw Ron sitting with Ginny, playing a game of some kind. I stood there watching them, watching as they smiled and laughed. They weren't worried about food, or weight. I had thought Ginny was, but she appeared to be fine. She wasn't like me.

I stood and watched as Harry came in, sat down with Ron, and said something. Ron and Ginny both laughed, their eyes bright. Neville came over to where they were, and began talking as well. They appeared to be a happy family; leaving me out of the picture altogether. I wondered if they remembered me, or if they thought I had already left? They seemed to be happy without me, and so I turned around, heading for the library.

"What use am I in the dining hall anyways? I don't belong there. I belong in the library, where the books are. Where it's quiet and peaceful and I can concentrate on reading. That's all I really need." I mumbled to myself, as I walked in the door.

I grabbed a chair, pulled it up to a computer and typed in anorexia. A bunch of stuff came up, and I read every single bit of it. These people around me have no clue what they were talking about. They say I have this disease, but I don't have any of the signs it lists. I think their all lies, trying to trick me into believing something, when in reality I am the only one who sees the truth.


End file.
